Predictions of Our Demise Continue Apace
Our premise made stupid: Study Shows over 68% of Science Stories Have Scientific Errors but…. but “over 42% of the stories were completely accurate.”
A Duke University-led analysis of available records shows that while the North Atlantic Ocean’s surface waters warmed in the 50 years between 1950 and 2000, the change was not uniform. In fact, the subpolar regions cooled at the same time that subtropical and tropical waters warmed.
But just what is “Blobal Warming” and why is it so horrifying to contemplate? Well you might ask. And it is just as well our crack staff of research assistants, Igor, Goofy and Dopey, have discovered the answer in an obscure scientific paper published last year in The Science Creative Quarterly which the media has covered up:
Global warming will bring back the Blob.Yes, that Blob. The Blob.
The Blob has been dormant for half a century, but it’s out there and the only thing preventing it from squishing through the streets of our cities right now, leaving a slimy trail of death in its wake, is the biting cold of the polar ice cap. Remember? That’s where the Air Force marooned it after a bunch of teenagers neutralized the thing by freezing it with CO2 fire extinguishers. Steve McQueen himself assured us that we were safe “as long as the Arctic stays cold.”
As long as the Arctic stays cold. . .
Chilling, what? And now we have, as you can see in the screencap above, confirmation from no less an authority than NASA that Blobal Warming is here and is real. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Meanwhile, as we wait for our GLOBAL-BLOBAL-DOOM!™, more stupid science news keeps pouring in.
Air Pollution Shrinks Fetus Size, Study Suggests Especially if they go outside during smog alerts to smoke.
You don’t say? New Genetic Link To Autism Discovered By Studying Speech
Recession strikes sea earlier than expected: Greenhouse ocean may downsize fish
Edible antifreeze promises perfect ice cream Marketing slogan: “Tastes great! Then you die.”
Clearly ahead of its time: 480-million-year-old Fossil Sheds Light On 150-year-old Paleontological Mystery
Sending Carbon Dioxide To Sea Yet more scientists unclear on the concept, “What you throw into the ocean comes back out on the tide.”
Lots of Dinosaur Tracks Found in Washington DC Suburbs All leading to and from Congress.
Always let the little head do the thinking for the big head: Testosterone May Improve Mental Function
Brown planetary geologists lend expertise to Mercury mission And diversity too!
Today’s “No Shit Sherlock” award goes to… the envelope please …Obesity, Depression Often Coexist In Middle-Aged Women
BRAINS! Your Stupid Soviet Science Nostalgia Pictorial. Inside the Moscow “Abandoned laboratory of studying a human brain” from brusnichka.com
UPDATE: Yet More Fresh Doom! First the global freezing, then the ozone hole, then the alar scare, then the warming, then the comet strike, then the supernova explosions, then Rogue Black Holes Roam Milky Way, and now, now this, the FINAL INSULT! –> Massive Gas Cloud Speeding Toward Collision With Milky Way! I tell you if this keeps up, sooner or later every single person alive on the Earth today is going to be dead.
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