S c i e n c e M a d e S t u p i d

Because half of us are dumber than average

If Sewage Crisis Then Inject Brain with Marijuana

Hey, kids! What time is it? It’s Time to wake up to the sewage crisis

“The ‘sewage crisis’ is inextricably intertwined with the world’s freshwater crisis…. So what’s happening to rectify [sic] the situation? The answer, sadly, is not nearly enough.”

Yes, indeed. Sometimes it is right to stand and fight. Sometimes it is far too late and the only answer is… FLEE!


[Sewer explosion video via House of Eratosthenes]

Meanwhile, in other news….
Mechanism That Controls Activation Of Stem Cells During Hair Regeneration Identified Mechanism announces it is running for President of the Hair Club for Men.

Could The Universe Be Tied Up With Cosmic String? If so, well, pluck it.

The Bataan Death March Diet: For Weight Control You Will Need To Walk More Than 10,000 Steps A Day

“Short people got…. Short people got… Short people got….” Short birth length more than doubles risk of violent suicide attempts

First waterboarding and now THIS! Shock therapy making a comeback

File Under “Environmentalists Screw the 3rd World Yet Again:” FuturePundit: Biofuels Use Pushes Up Vegetable Oil Costs

Gaydar. It’s Everywhere. And fast too. An Eye for Sexual Orientation — ScienceNOW

If you were injecting cannibis directly into my brain, I’d be anxious too. Chem Lab: Scientists Are Learning How Weed Causes Paranoia “By injecting small amounts of the marijuana-derived drug into different parts of a rat’s brain and then watching for behavioral cues, they learned that THC works wonders in the prefrontal cortex and ventral hippocampus, but causes anxious behavior when dribbled into the basolateral amygdala.”

Rocket scientists are no rocket scientists: NASA moon rocket may shake too much

Today’s “No Shit Sherlock Award” goes to…. the envelope please…. The Great Beyond: Black sheep really are bad

Your daily “Dose-O-Doom!”® First the global freezing, then the ozone hole, then the alar scare, then the warming, then the comet strike, then the supernova explosions, then Rogue Black Holes Roam Milky Way, then the Massive Gas Cloud Speeding Toward Collision With Milky Way, then Troublemaking Solar Cycle Kicks Offand now, now this, the FINAL INSULT! → Only science can save us from climate catastrophe Translation: “Worship us like gods or we will let you all die!” I tell you if this keeps up, sooner or later every single person alive on the Earth today is going to be dead, dead, dead!

January 21, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Bisexual Global Warming Threatens China

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Concentrating all man’s evil on the coast: Human activities contribute to California’s global warming Mexico, Nevada, Oregon, and the Pacific Ocean are cool though.

Scientific American: Bisexuality is a Distinct Sexual Orientation Well, two orientations to be precise.

Rising Seas Threaten China’s Sinking Coastal Cities

Waters off the industrial port city of Tianjin, 60 miles (100 kilometers) southeast of Beijing, rose by 7.72 inches (20 centimeters) over the past three decades, the administration said.

Humm, at about a quarter of an inch a year they’ve got time enough to move the entire city to Denver.

The end of a shitty job New function for colon cancer gene found

Study discovers secret of Scottish sheep evolution Descendants of Angus McTavish (Aberdeen, 1206-1285 AD) humiliated.

Contact lenses with circuits, lights a possible platform for superhuman vision Orders for X-Ray vision expected to surpass orders for iPods in 2009.

Aggression as rewarding as sex, food and drugs Entire roster of the NFL stunned by the revelation.

Could have named her Slocke, or Slacker: German Polar Bear Cub Is Named “The 6.5-pound (3-kilogram) bundle of fluff that zookeepers dubbed Flocke, or Flake.”

Why? Because we can, that’s why. Hybrid Human-Animal Embryo Research Approved In The UK “I am not an embryo! I am a free Manimal!”

Today’s “No Shit Sherlock” award goes to… the envelope please… this example of French-Canadian science doing its level best: Depression and anxiety can double chances of heart ailments “We found that both major depression and generalized anxiety disorder were more common in cardiac patients than in the general community,” said principal investigator Nancy Frasure-Smith, a professor at McGill’s Department of Psychiatry and a researcher at the Centre hospitalier de la Universite de Montreal.” Forehead slaps heard all the way to Florida.

January 21, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Icepick Lobotomy: The Movie


Great Moments in Medicine: Prefrontal Lobotomies “Egas Moniz was given the Nobel Prize. The only person who has received a Nobel Prize for treatment of mental illness.” [HT: Neurophilosophy ]
Can’t sleep. Clowns will operate on me. No Clowning For Hospitalized Kids

Embryo clones of two men made from skin cells Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

First Korean astronaut to take soil into space Plans to start vegetable farm. Relatives booked on next shuttle.

Sad news: Selective reporting of antidepressant trials exaggerates drug effectiveness

2007 Was Tied As Earth’s Second Warmest Year No doubt about it, we’re just going to have to drive more in 2008.

New drug lets kids feel good in their skin Developed because ecstasy was illegal?

Physicists Create World’s Tiniest Trophy, To Be Awarded On Super Bowl Sunday World’s smallest violin to be awarded to losers.

Today’s “No Shit Sherlock” award goes to … the envelope please… [You can’t make this name up] Boguslaw Pawlowski for his gobstopping study Long legs really are more sexy

January 21, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Don’t Lase Me Bro!

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Your global warming emergency vehicle: Amphibious Car Can Dive 33 Feet Underwater

Crap jargon alert: “Food Insecurity”

“Researchers from Boston University School of Medicine (BUSM) and Boston Medical Center (BMC), in collaboration with researchers from Arkansas, Maryland, Minnesota and Pennsylvania, have found that children living in households with food insecurity , are more likely to be at developmental risk during their first three years of life, compared to similar households that are not food insecure.”

Can’t something be done to make food feel more secure? I guess not now that this is on the menu:Taliban Say They Will Attack Restaurants

Still, there is some good news. Last chance to eat! Black Abalone At Risk Of Extinction, Endangered Species Act Protection Sought

Herons persist in Chicago wetlands despite exposure to banned chemicals If this keeps up Chicago will have to stop spraying and just shoot them.

Oops! Surgical sponges have been left inside people with such frequency that they invented a word to describe it: gossypiboma “In which I compile a list of things that surgeons have left inside people”

There’s “woof” and there’s “woof”Computer learns dogspeak Because humans just don’t LISTEN!

Bad news for lesbians, worse news for husbands: Bisexuality not a transitional phase among women, according to new research

Mad genetic scientist alert: Mice Given Bat-like Forelimbs Through Gene Switch … Because we can. That’s why.

“Don’t LASE me, bro!” Stroke Victims Could Get Laser Treatment

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UPDATE: Yet More Fresh Doom! First the global freezing, then the ozone hole, then the alar scare, then the warming, then the comet strike, then the supernova explosions, then Rogue Black Holes Roam Milky Way, then the Massive Gas Cloud Speeding Toward Collision With Milky Way, and now, now this, the FINAL INSULT! Troublemaking Solar Cycle Kicks Off I tell you if this keeps up, sooner or later every single person alive on the Earth today is going to be dead, dead, dead!

January 21, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Warm Winters and Hot Teen Dinosaurs


“The PCR Song” by “Scientists for a Better PCR”
Selective Restraints And Reduced Medication Could Reduce Nursing Home Falls Says 4-year Study Yes, strapping them to the bed and cutting off dope can do that.

Heavy metal slips down UK air quality charts Can Rap be next? Please?

Fossils reveal dinosaurs had teen sex And a high incidence of unwed mothers as well.

Northeast US Winters Warming Faster Than Other Seasons? “Earlier blooms. Less snow to shovel. Unseasonable warm spells.” And the downside is?

Today’s “No-shit Sherlock?” award goes to… the envelope please… Overweight People May Not Know When They’ve Had Enough Runner-up: Fish Oil May Be Helpful To Some And Harmful To Others

Perhaps it is something in the water: “The high proportion of infection involving the buttocks, genitals, and perineum suggests that community-associated MRSA may be transmitted in the setting of sexual contact among men who have sex with men …. It is not clear whether the behavior potentiating these infections among men who have sex with men is anal sex . Emergence of Multidrug-Resistant, Community-Associated, Methicillin-Resistant Staphylococcus aureus Clone USA300 in Men Who Have Sex with Men

Department of “Every rose has its thorn:” Columbus May Have Brought Syphilis To Europe From New World Personally or was it a franchise deal?

Step 1: Japanese whaling ship detains activists Step 2: Japanese whaling ship harpoons activists.

Still not over mean things said about Galileo: Scientists protest against Pope Next steps — stamping feet, holding breath.

More stealth racism in America: Study: weight-loss tips differ in African-American, mainstream magazines No separate but equal diets allowed!

Space Porn: Hot Cyclones Churn At Both Ends Of Saturn

Today’s specials: Scientist Reveals 2007 California Wildfire Impacts on Wildlife Rare, medium, and well-done.

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“This is the chemical compsition for Metol, which is a developing agent in black and white photo developer.”–Chloe
Science Tattoos – a photoset on Flickr

January 21, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Predictions of Our Demise Continue Apace

Our premise made stupid: Study Shows over 68% of Science Stories Have Scientific Errors but…. but “over 42% of the stories were completely accurate.”

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Beware “Blobal Warming!”

A Duke University-led analysis of available records shows that while the North Atlantic Ocean’s surface waters warmed in the 50 years between 1950 and 2000, the change was not uniform. In fact, the subpolar regions cooled at the same time that subtropical and tropical waters warmed.

But just what is “Blobal Warming” and why is it so horrifying to contemplate? Well you might ask. And it is just as well our crack staff of research assistants, Igor, Goofy and Dopey, have discovered the answer in an obscure scientific paper published last year in The Science Creative Quarterly which the media has covered up:

Global warming will bring back the Blob.Yes, that Blob. The Blob.

The Blob has been dormant for half a century, but it’s out there and the only thing preventing it from squishing through the streets of our cities right now, leaving a slimy trail of death in its wake, is the biting cold of the polar ice cap. Remember? That’s where the Air Force marooned it after a bunch of teenagers neutralized the thing by freezing it with CO2 fire extinguishers. Steve McQueen himself assured us that we were safe “as long as the Arctic stays cold.”

As long as the Arctic stays cold. . .

Chilling, what? And now we have, as you can see in the screencap above, confirmation from no less an authority than NASA that Blobal Warming is here and is real. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Meanwhile, as we wait for our GLOBAL-BLOBAL-DOOM!™, more stupid science news keeps pouring in.

Air Pollution Shrinks Fetus Size, Study Suggests Especially if they go outside during smog alerts to smoke.

You don’t say? New Genetic Link To Autism Discovered By Studying Speech

Recession strikes sea earlier than expected: Greenhouse ocean may downsize fish

Edible antifreeze promises perfect ice cream Marketing slogan: “Tastes great! Then you die.”

Clearly ahead of its time: 480-million-year-old Fossil Sheds Light On 150-year-old Paleontological Mystery

Sending Carbon Dioxide To Sea Yet more scientists unclear on the concept, “What you throw into the ocean comes back out on the tide.”

New Uses for Tofu: Compound Found In Soybeans Effective In Reducing Hot Flashes In Menopausal Women

Lots of Dinosaur Tracks Found in Washington DC Suburbs All leading to and from Congress.

Always let the little head do the thinking for the big head: Testosterone May Improve Mental Function

Brown planetary geologists lend expertise to Mercury mission And diversity too!

Today’s “No Shit Sherlock” award goes to… the envelope please …Obesity, Depression Often Coexist In Middle-Aged Women

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BRAINS! Your Stupid Soviet Science Nostalgia Pictorial. Inside the Moscow “Abandoned laboratory of studying a human brain” from brusnichka.com

UPDATE: Yet More Fresh Doom! First the global freezing, then the ozone hole, then the alar scare, then the warming, then the comet strike, then the supernova explosions, then Rogue Black Holes Roam Milky Way, and now, now this, the FINAL INSULT! –> Massive Gas Cloud Speeding Toward Collision With Milky Way! I tell you if this keeps up, sooner or later every single person alive on the Earth today is going to be dead.

January 21, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Of Addicts, Ice, and Fruit Flies

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Should Heroin Be Prescribed To Addicts? 11 out of 10 addicts say, “Yes!”

Gore Files Lawsuits Against Time Lawyers for former Vice President Al Gore have filed numerous lawsuits against Time magazine, alleging a series of voting irregularities they maintain deprived Gore of Time’s “Person of the Year” Award.

Breast cancer genes don’t have to mean cancer Okay, but can we bust them on “malicious intent?”

Slush, you huskies, slush! Warming Weather Forces Iditarod Changes

Mars Avoids Asteroid Strike Invasion of Earth cancelled for lack of interest.

Space Weather Forecast: More Solar Storms on the Way UN calls for special taxes to cool out space.

DNA to Decide if Headless Killer Faked Her Death Right up there with the immortal “Headless Body Found in Topless Bar.”

Older Arctic Sea Ice Replaced By Young, Thin Ice Old and fat being replaced by young and thin? I think the Arctic Sea has grounds for a discrimination lawsuit.

Culture Influences Brain Function, Study Shows Study carried out at rap music concerts.

With Daily Alcohol Use, Male Fruit Flies Court Other Males Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Global warming death toll continues to mount: Heavy Snow Kills Dozens in Asia

People With Dementia Survive On Average Four And A Half Years After Diagnosis But only because they don’t understand what it means.

“No Shit Sherlock” award goes to… the envelope please…. : Why don’t we drop medical waste and nuclear waste into active volcanoes?

January 21, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Crabcakes at the Samoan Home Town Buffet

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New source of crab cakes discovered: Size Doesn’t Matter To Fighting Fiddler Crabs

Reversal Of Alzheimer’s Symptoms Within Minutes In Human Study But a few minutes later another study tells you to forget about it.

New Insight Into Factors That Drive Muscle-building Stem Cells Short form, juice embryos early and often.

Elephant Shot Dead in Zimbabwe After Party Shenanigans How he got in the pajamas, we’ll never know.

Staying Active And Drinking Moderately Is The Key To A Long Life, Study Suggests Case of the partying elephant supports this conclusion.

Divorce May Widen Distance Between Teens, Fathers Especially when moms move out of state.

So don’t bother, OK? Fatherhood Linked To Prostate Cancer Risk Modern science, undermining the family at every turn.

Grass Makes Better Ethanol than Corn Does True, but your car won’t get off of the couch in the garage.

Good news: Super-hairy plants could battle global warming Bad News: After certain victory they rape, loot, pillage, and burn the Planet before turning into dandelions in your lawn.

Oatmeal’s Health Claims Reaffirmed, Study Suggests More scientists who didn’t listen to their mother.

Eating Out Can Have Both Positive And Negative Impact On Obesity Just stay out of the Samoan Home Town Buffet chain and you should be fine.

Coming Soon at the Al Gore Cineplex: An Inconvenient Galaxy: Arms Winding ‘Backwards’

New Year resolutions could add years to your life Don’t smoke. Drink little. Eat fruits and vegetables. Exercise. Resolving to keep New Year resolutions does not make the list.

Again Science imitates Sesame Street: Two Proteins, Called BERT And ERNI, Control Brain Development

Alarming Levels Of Mercury And Arsenic Found In Chinese Freshwater Ecosystem But look for “Made in China” Spring Water Bottles in Wal Mart by the Summer. Cheap too.

Remember giving up bacon cheeseburgers? Sucker! Cholesterol May Actually Pose Benefits, Study Shows

Remember all that sun screen you’ve smeared on for decades? Sucker! Sun Exposure Causes Net Reduction In Cancer Risk

The Freddy Kruger Lifetime Achievement Award goes to…. the envelope please…Glowing Pig Passes Genes to Piglets Mankind is now prepared, DAMNED prepared to farm on the dark side of the moon!

Today’s “No shit, Sherlock” Award goes to… the envelope please…. Teens Find The Benefits Of Not Having Sex Decline With Age

UPDATE: More Fresh Doom! Rogue Black Holes Roam Milky Way First the global freezing, then the ozone hole, then the alar scare, then the warming, then the comet strike, then the supernova explosions and now, now this, the FINAL INSULT! I tell you if this keeps up, sooner or later every single person alive on the Earth today is going to be dead.

January 21, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Smoking Cockroaches Against Circumcision

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I love the “March of Science” that now displays itself every day in a bland, non-partisan and stupefying way, don’t you? Here’s a selection of today’s “revelations” — and they are jaw-dropping as usual. Remember, people are actually paid to do this research.

Women Who Smoke At Increased Risk Of Lung Disease That one took you by surprise, right?

Asian Cockroaches Could Aid Texas Growers Doing the jobs that American cockroaches won’t do.

Circumcision Doesn’t Reduce Sexual Satisfaction And Performance, Says Study Of 4,500 Men Sort of depends on how soon after the operation, doesn’t it?

Intelligent design: New Laboratory Robot Can Lift The Burden Of Boring Work

2008 Likely To Be One Of The Top-ten Warmest Years Now you might think that would be bad news, right?

Well, you’d be wrong because: More Sun Exposure May Be Good For Some People

Rainforests. Now you don’t see them. Now you do: No Convincing Evidence For Decline In Tropical Forests

Breakthrough medical technique: Colonoscopy Fears Overcome When Patients Support Patients Hey, I’m not going back just to hold someone. Not even in a manly way.

Today’s “No shit, Sherlock” Award goes to: Emergency Responders At High Risk To Miss Work Because Of Injuries, with honorable mention to: Violent Shaking Pulps The Infant Brain, Forensic Researchers Find

And finally, Why Are Chickens Getting So Fat? Because they crossed the road to the McDonalds?

UPDATE: This just in — New Risk to Earth Found in Supernova Explosions First the global freezing, then the ozone hole, then the alar scare, then the warming, then the comet strike and now, now this, the FINAL INSULT! I tell you if this keeps up, sooner or later every single person alive on the Earth today is going to be dead.

January 21, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment